The other day my mother made a comment about how talkative I am. It was one of those lively conversations and when she pointed that out, I got a chance to ask a question that had lingered in my mind for so long; a question she was best placed to answer having seen me grow up to this day. “Was I always this talkative?”
Though there’re details about my childhood that I can’t quite recall, I know that I certainly wasn’t the talkative type. I was the typical little girl who always wanted to be around her mother. I had terrible appetite and cried a lot (though I bet I had plausible reasons for doing so :-)). That aside, photographic evidence would show that I was an adorable little girl. In one of my nursery school reports (yes, I still have them), my teacher ascertained that while adding that I was disciplined and loved reciting poems. It’s hard not to smile every time I read those reports. I guess the only comments that were close to negative on those reports were about my poor feeding habits.
It is no wonder that while my mates had big dreams and stuff that made them long to grow up, my one wish was that I would one day finish a meal without having to be urged on. I hoped that I would have a favorite meal besides sausages (it’s a snack I know) and enjoy mealtimes. Though I outdid myself and cleared my plate on various occasions, I really envied the rest of my classmates who seemed to enjoy their meals. It’s one of those things that I can’t explain but I really longed for the day I would savour every bite of my school meals. I guess mealtimes were the worst part of my day and it didn’t help that I joined a school in my lower primary years where it was compulsory to clear our plates. By clearing, it meant eating all the food you picked; there was no way to discard it. On many occasions, we had to stand outside class in the afternoon heat till we finished our lunch. It’s one of those embarrassing situations that we just had to get used to. My best friend had similar issues; a case of birds of a feather flock together so we supported each other through it all. Nowadays we look back and laugh about it but I’m glad that the school played a major role in our growing up.
More than a decade later, I know that little girl in the snaps would be proud of me. I was able to overcome one of my greatest hurdles, judging by the ease with which I now eat. I have kept her flame alive by doing more of the things she enjoyed doing. Though she didn’t talk much, I bet she’d be happy that I have grown from the shy girl she was to the loquacious person I am today. Thanks to that, I have made more friends while still keeping those she grew up with. Though I may not have the ability to right all her wrongs, I can now do more of what is right and make better, more informed decisions.
Just as I had guessed, mum answered in the negative. I can’t remember at what point I made the transition from quiet to loquacious but I know that at some point I felt the need to open up so as to interact with more people as I grew up. Opening up meant reading more books, staying abreast with changes and events around me that would be apt topics of discussion with a person I just met.
That adorable young lass still lives in me and shows up every so often, especially when I’m doing something she can identify with. She urges me to excellence; excellence was her second name. Though the environment is very different from what she’s used to, she can achieve so much and be a better person each day with God’s grace.
There’re many kids around us who look up to us, just like the younger versions of ourselves. Are we good role models? Would we want our sons/ daughters to do the things we do, the decisions we make or the lives we live?
Looking back at our lives these past years, have we lived a life that the little girl/ boy in us can be proud off? Have we maintained his/her innocence and good deeds and have we chosen to do the right thing at all times? Have we lived by the virtues he/she strongly upheld?
If we have, kudos! Keep it up.
If we haven’t, God has given us a chance to do that in this new year. A chance to do the things that please Him.
Happy New year!! God bless y’all!