“Heads or tails..?”

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I have a bone to pick with my  brain for getting me blogging ideas at all the wrong times. That’s part of the reason why my posts have been so widely spaced. The other part must be the ‘fate thingy’- where I’m blogging now because it’s meant to happen now not earlier. (Though I’m not sure I totally believe in fate). Of the former, it hasn’t helped much that I’ve been getting all these ideas before I fall asleep. As a brain (very advanced), it should know that I am very particular about bedtime and getting ideas at that time mostly means I hold the thoughts till morning. The same brain gets distracted by the awesome discoveries of the subconscious and releases the thoughts. That’s my logic… not very well thought upon but it’s my opinion and it doesn’t have to be right. I’d petition that the brain ought to strike a balance but since the trend keeps recurring, I tend to view it as a case of the forbidden fruit being sweetest.  😦

I drafted part of this post on paper a few nights ago and it’s been itching to get posted. Yes… paper and while you wonder who writes journals on paper when you can have an e- one, allow me to explain. Well, I do so for two reasons. To start with, I have this thing about not looking at the time when I feel that its past my bedtime because it’ll have an effect on my waking up. I’d rather wake up thinking I had enough sleep than actually knowing I had 5 minutes less of sleep. I either sleep the extra 5 minutes or risk them haunting me during the day with stints of sleepy eyes and hot flushes. It’s all in the head; I know. I also know that it’s never thaat serious but sometimes the brain gets complicated… it’s hard to figure out or convince otherwise. To cope with that, I avoid using my phone (and by extension, blogging) past my bedtime so that I don’t know exactly how late I sleep.

Next, there’s something about writing on paper that somewhat beats typing; kind of an old is gold situation. Writing on paper means I get to use my handwriting… and I love my handwriting. Wait, did I mention how much I Looove my handwriting? 🙂 Well, I just did. The repetition was for emphasis. I make use of literature features of style once in a while…because I can. Moving on. I think one of the things I’ve always regarded myself for is my handwriting. In spite of the fact that I never got any prize for best handwriting even after being shortlisted several times and the fact that I hardly ever get complimented for it, I still think that my handwriting is the best. I admire many people whose writing is way better than mine but I can’t get over the fact that I think mine is awesome. The shaping of my t’s, e’s, s ,how I dot my i’s… etc. Talk of the power of simple things. One may call it an esteem issue but we all have esteem issues, only for different reasons. There’re things about ourselves, stuff or people that we love regardless; in spite of. I’d want to say more but I’ll save it for the sake of those who’ve seen my writing on paper… I can see a few heads shaking in disapproval. 😛
That said, I bet you’d understand why pencil and paper help me express myself better. Pencil, not pen. Ideas just flow when it’s pencil on paper. It has something to do with the esteem related to my handwriting and the fact that pencil marks can be easily erased. I know pen marks can be cleared too but who has white out under their pillow? Well, not me, and I bet you neither. Besides, my writing speed is appropriate for my thought process when I’m putting down ideas.

One of the things that I’ve pondered upon enough times in the recent past is opinions. Weird, I know; but considering that each of us (and ‘we’ are many: we- people of the world) has /is entitled to our own opinion about different stuff, there’s enough food for thought. 
Opinions. We are entitled to our own and consequently, we have a view of nearly everything that revolves around us. We have our views, but that doesn’t mean that our own are right. It doesn’t give us the right to impose what we think on others. I have trouble taking up people’s opinions nowadays unless they’re based on actual facts. Many times it’s about the simplest things… but wanting to be sure about the simple things would justify my caution for bigger things. In forums where people express their opinions freely, sometimes I like to take a back seat, listen to people’s analysis of situations without judging if they’re right or not. Even when they make sense, I’m not too quick to agree or take up their ideas. Sometimes I prefer to be objective; think it all over on my own then have an opinion I can place my name to… one that I can justify without reasonable doubt. That’s what part of my blog comprises (my side of the story and /or my views on various issues) with the other part being ideas I have taken up from various people or situations.

I have been described as a very vocal person but there’re enough people who hold a completely different opinion. I wouldn’t blame them; I have my share of aloof moments. We all do… sometimes to converse with our inner selves  For the latter, I would say that the answer lies in time. Time and conversance. We somewhat have control over conversance, time; not so much. I want to think of the two contrasting views as 2 sides of a coin. Its the same coin but the side that comes up when you flip it is what you see for the moment. There’s the chance that you’d toss the coin two consecutive times and get the different results. In my case, I guess the result you get depends on the familiarity of people, the situation or the circumstances involved. Though both faces have similar features, the difference lies in how much talking I do and what we’re conversing about. It’s in no way a multiple personality. I think of the two sides as the serious-professional and jumpy- jovial side. They’re intertwined since the former one feels that it’s never that serious enough times and the latter takes life seriously sometimes. 

For unfamiliar company, time and conversance would help us identify what we have in common; how similar our thought processes are. When familiarity breeds, it gives us the freedom to express our opinions and we can listen at ease, without feeling like the opinions/ ideas are being imposed on us. Even when we don’t agree with what’s being said, we let the person explain and maybe give them the benefit of the doubt. During moments like those, we know better than to stand for something we can’t justify; because even formulas have proof and in proofing, one understands the formula better. Enough of that for now… I guess spending free Fridays proofing Math stuff has an effect on my writing too. We do fun stuff on Fridays… and Math is fun. We (names withheld) still insist that we have a life. 🙂 But then again, that doesn’t happen all the time (the Math stuff).

Heads or tails? The choice is yours (mainly). Toss the coin. If you don’t like the side that comes up, toss it again; you just might get the missing piece.
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12 thoughts on ““Heads or tails..?”

  1. Ha, now see a writer make an elephant out of a rat…that handwritting really?? (I’m trying hard not to give you the side eye here but here it is,Oy! O_o) 😛
    Another masterpiece though. Cheers to all ye out there still keeping LILA alive (Love Ink Live Art). Punching buttons will never replace the art.
    As to whether to toss a coin or not,I make my chances. I’m that type who will toss it, catch it mid-air and turn it to whichever side I want.

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    1. Hahah, I looove my handwriting… and I’m beginning to think that you couldn’t get enough of its awesomeness (how else would you explain having my IT book that long? :-P)
      Way to go…keep making your chances (great attitude right there) and thanks for reading.

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  2. Nice piece. That part about not wanting to know the time, if its late, before going to bed…hehe.
    So i have like a guy i go to for advice. I have tons of guys for a lot of things. A novel guy,a game guy,a clothes guy,a music guy,a guy to get me a guy i need(he’s my guy guy). This one’s my advice guy. So i go upto him and tell him i have to make a choice. I tell him my dilemma and he tells me he can get me out of it. I think ”that’s my advice guy. Never lets me down.” Next thing he does is hand me a coin and tells me to toss it. Wait one moment…the choice i make will change my life and my advice guy is telling me to toss a coin on it. I want to question his methods but he’s never let me down(and last time i questioned him…let’s just say it didn’t end well.thats a story for another day.) So i go with it. I toss the coin. And…time stands still. Yeah the whole deal. Everyone freezes but the coin is still flipping. I know it sounds like a clip from a movie but its not. Its like the second that never ends. Then somewhere at the back of my head i hear a voice. Its faint at first. I try to make it out. There’s this frown on my face. Then the voice become’s clear and a blank expression comes over my face. I think i glimpse my advice guy spot a grin. In that moment he catches the coin in mid air and tells me i can leave unless i have something else to ask. I stare. Is this guy busting my balls? As i’m about to open my mouth it hits me. At first i grin,then I smile and before i know it i’m on the ground laughing my socks off. I bid him goodbye and leave a little wiser than when i came.
    Ok..it’s like this. When you toss the coin and its flipping, you will hear a voice. This voice is like the perfect you. The one who makes no mistakes. It will say something like ”let it be head” or ”i hope it lands on tails”. Listen to it. At that moment you will know the choice you need to make.

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