“Of table-top phone calls and lasagna”

I’m hoping to make this blog post really short but when I’m done, I doubt if this statement will hold. But short is relative, right? Even 1000 words is shorter than two thousand… same way people think I’m short yet I’m way taller than millions of people! Short is relative, people!! Ok, relax :-). I am short-tall. Yeah, that’s true. Think about it :-P.

In retrospect, the issue of how short, short actually is came up earlier today. Hope that made sense. How short is short? Something like that. You know how a one hour lecture can seem like the longest you’ve had to listen if you’re disinterested or it’s boring? I have three hour lectures and I would know how some seem like half a day of listening while others seem like a coffee break. Ok, in the real world, the former outdo the latter I think.

Anyway, we had to drive three kilometres inside a forest today to get to a certain lodge in Mt. Kenya. I know you’re thinking how three kilometres is not a big deal but hold that thought and let me fill you in on a few details first.

Three kilometers is 3000 metres!! (Relax, I know you know). I also know that driving three thousand metres is not even worth a mention but when that distance is in the middle of nowhere and you’re facing danger of attack by wild animals and the “Lodge takes no responsibility for any injuries that result”, then the scenario changes. This lodge is inside Mt Kenya forest and there’re no guards to direct you or at the very least, caution you. You just drive into the forest and hope you’ll get to the lodge before you meet elephants that decide to toss your car like a dice. At some point there’s a fork on the road and you take the earth road because you’ve heard about how bad the road to the lodge usually is so it can’t be the tarmac. You didn’t even think about the tarmac until you’d driven quite some distance on the rocky road and you began to wonder if you really were on the right track. You look around; there’re trees and thickets everywhere. What of the silence; not even the birds are chirping. It’s really cold, there’s tension in the car because one party was against this forest thing (not me :-P) and you begin to hear strange animal sounds (in your head) when you remember the ‘At your own risk’ warning. There’s no sign of people or houses (it’s inside a forest), the weather is dull and it begins to drizzle. The drizzle heightens your fears. What if your car gets stuck in the middle of nowhere, then there’s trouble with reception so you can’t get help, then the elephants make your car their item of play..? Ok, a little positive thinking will help. Searching for positive thoughts ••• search failed.

You can’t seem to get the thought of elephants away. There’s good reason. You grew up in a town about ten kilometers away and you can remember hearing how the elephants used to cause destruction to farms and homesteads. When some of the elephants that were on the lose were killed, you remember the feasts on elephant meat and some guy bringing a piece of elephant skin (it was thiiick!) to a salon where you were. No wonder the elephants fear is so real… and incessant. o_O The wooden bridge metres ahead does not help. Driving over a Wooden Bridge that looks oh-so-shaky! Who constructs a wooden bridge on a road used by cars?!!!! Eh, So much for being natural! You decide to cross nonetheless. You feel you must be really near by now. It’s a huge sigh of relief when you see some guys who assure you that you’re on the tight track and that you have about a kilometer to go. After a while you begin to doubt the guys’ definition of a kilometre. You’re deeper into the forest, it’s still drizzling and all in your head is the lurking danger. You drive on ‘roho mkononi’ till you see some buildings at a distance. I need not described my excitement at the sight of the lodge. Long story short, 3000 Metres inside a forest is long!!!

Anyway, I have to get this done real soon because I’m avoiding having to explain this smile on my face or why I’ve been on my phone (blogging) for the last few hours; or worse still, explaining both. 😛 . I don’t want to explain why before I sat on this chair, I had rushed out of the living room, was heard talking unusually excited and laughing my lungs out and came back with this grin on my face. Note that even with the expression on my face, I had tried to get myself to relax, lest they have more questions to ask. So let me get to the point.

I’m excited. Excitement makes me feel like a little girl all over again. You know how a little girl can get really excited… how a toddler cracks up and exposes her toothless gums and you can tell that she’s having the time of her life? Yeah, that’s what real excitement does to me. Excitement would explain why I made a phone call on a table top and though I had left the living room so I wouldn’t have to explain my excitement, my voice and laughter did little to back my intentions.

See, excitement sometimes is not in it’s fullest unless when shared with person(s) who are in the same state or those who understand why you’re that excited. That would explain why I had to call someone, express it amidst jumps from bed to table (did I just reveal that?) and allow myself to get over the excitement, enough to maintain my usual stride when I get back to the real world. It wasn’t easy but I have to give it to the jumps for helping me through it. (Oi… there goes my street cred ~> 😦  )

Well, it’s excitement that not everyone around would understand. Maybe they would if I had bothered to explain or answer one of the questions asked but it still would not get them to my level of excitement. I decided to save them the trouble of wondering if I’m nuts… or if that Omega 3 tablet I had in the morning had a reverse effect on me. Wait, who even takes Omega 3 tabs? Well, my grandma does, and we’ve seen tremendous improvement in her memory ever since, and in spite of her age. It’s awesome when she can remember the events of the last time you were together, or when her girlfriends visit and they can tell stories or sing the songs they sang as teens. PS: my grandma is well advanced in years… very well advanced, so watching her do those things with an equally aged girlfriend is amazing. The life they bring to the room… how their faces brighten up amidst the wrinkles and the movements they make that, though minimal, are really energetic. I love my grandma, and when I place my arm around her shoulder, she feels like that girlfriend of mine. Even our age difference is put down by our similarities… starting with height. 🙂 Well, that’s besides the point. Where were we?

Excitement. Enough of that for now. It’s been an awesome day to say the least and the excited evening has been a great climax. You must’ve noticed that I have totally refrained from giving the cause of this excitement. Well, I do that for the sake of my street cred that is already sore and to avoid jinxing the cause. But the latter applies more; who cares about street cred anyway?                                                                                  Ok, moving on. So, what information would get you excited enough to make you all jumpy or make phone calls on the top of a table? None? Really? You must have something… if you don’t, I’m not sure you’re living life to the fullest. Rather, there’ll heights of excitement that you’re yet to achieve :-D. But we all have our ways of expressing our excitement so I digress.                                                                                                    Oh, and the distance to the lodge was actually 4000 metres. We confirmed that on our way back. No wonder it felt so far (that’s besides the fear factor). And did I mention how the menu for the day was Vegetable lasagna and salad????? They didn’t even have chicken, or familiar foods except chips and beef. Those who know me well know how I give my views in (some) eateries. That lodge got their fair share. But I doubt they care. They’re in the middle of nowhere and the target audience is clearly not Kenyan. Apparently, the lodge was built by the British in the colonial days (i think) as a get away place for Royals so there’s a possibility that the jungus seated on the table beside us are like 5th to the Throne. Before you shake your head, remember that Prince William proposed to Kate Middleton at a place as exclusive as that.


Happy Easter!!


13 thoughts on ““Of table-top phone calls and lasagna”

  1. ati street cred?!hahahaha!…its really nyce n witty,tho i hv to admit ur excitement got me excited to want to knw wat excited u so,bt u hv clearly refused to divulge that 😦 …ntakuona kando 😉


  2. ..again where I come from, we don’t hate friends who go to Mt. Kenya without inviting us; in fact we just prefer to frown and wait till they are back, then we squeeze the meaness out of them. (^¿^.)


  3. haha rereading this and thinking u truly shouldn’t divulge….for your street cred:-)
    nature is annoying…you are short…alafu yoyu’re the one who’s reached ‘heights of excitement’ hehe:-)


    1. Heheh, you gave me more reason not to divulge…
      A correction_ I’m the short version of tall, short-tall, not short. 😛
      And I think nature is fair… what it denies me in physical height, it compensates in other things


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